hopeless.

i'm not going to deny or try to hide this at all..
he honestly turns me into a giggling little schoolgirl that can't stop smiling/giggling to actually speak to him.


i cannot wipe the smile off my face whenever i think about his funny little smile/he's around/he messages me. :]]]

i never told you;

but its all in your goodbyes.

errr

probably never going to happen again.

nothing short.

life is actually nothing short of awesome right now.
of course there has been the odd curve ball thrown recently, what with max's passing and always being very alone right now due to having an empty house for a alot of the past week..
but despite that, life is being good to me at the moment.. sort of.

... not a phase.

i desperately wish it was, because forgetting about you would be so much easier than this complete loss of control. i tell myself i won't do this, won't do that and i sure won't let myself get caught up on you. but everytime i see your face i lose any control i have ever had. and when you smile, i'll always smile. and while you're away, i'll still think about you. i don't want to. but i will.

fail plus

what a fail. this is going to drive me insane.
and i have no idea how i'm going to even get myself out of it.

i just wanted an escape.
and ended up in an even bigger mess.


you're not the escape i need.
you just aren't. god damn it.

you.

co-ordinate brain and mouth, then ask me what its like to have myself so figured out. wish i knew.


He looks at me, i fake a smile so he won't see, that i want and i'm needing everything that we should be. I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about. And she's got everything that i have to live without. He talks to me, I laugh cos it's so damn funny, that i can't even see anyone when he's with me. He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right. i wonder if he knows he's all i think about at night.

He walks by me, can he tell that i can't breathe? And there he goes, so perfectly. The kind of flawless i wish i could be. She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love. Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky, cos he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star. He's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do. He's the time taken up but there's never enough. And he's all that I need to fall into...