i'm a little unsure why i'm the one thats worried about you.
and also a little unsure of why i'm the one in tears over this, when i should be the one brushing it off, or maybe not even listening to begin with.

i had so much hate for you. thats the only time that i have ever actually wanted to hurt someone. physically, emotionally..
because you hurt me so damn much. you broke me down to whole new level and left me there to pick myself back up from it. and i hated you so much.

id like to think i still do. but i'm too tired to hate anymore. i still haven't picked myself up from the first time yet, and theres not enough energy left in me to hate you. so i'll take whatever you have to throw at me, and i'll let you break me down. because i just can't be bothered fighting anymore.

tonight i saw you let down your guard for a second. i was the bigger person, and you gave me opportunity to take advantage of that. but i just sat here. and now i'm actually worried about you. now i worry for you, while you break me down.

if i don't worry about you, nobody else will.
i hate that i'm the person caring about you and for you.
and i hate that you're the person pulling me apart.
but somehow, i sortof like that we're talking again.
what the fuck is going on.